Tue, 03 Mar 2009 04:18:38 GMT

A reminder:

( A continuation of the endless litany of "I"s )

I have a strong sense in the search for competence and higher truth.
These underlying motivations manifest themselves through my calm assessment of current situations and what other prospects branch out from them into my future.
I realize my mortality and the fragility of reality and my values reflect this accordingly.
I do not compromise myself and my views for anyone elses.
I stay true to the original chemistry that translates into my internal dialogue, this being the only guiding sign along my journey.
I protect this foundation as it should not fluctuate along with passing emotions, other people, and other external factors.

***

Is the goal to escape the ego? I can't seem to recall. My memory is not retaining much from my recent past, eliminating a lot of my familiar behaviors- and my life itself really. Is it that this lifestyle has proved itself to be unfavorable? Can I not handle living only by the moments themselves?

It seems I just can't tolerate being misunderstood. Why have I found myself at odds with something I thought would free me, to begin experiencing what's real?
I N S E C U R I T Y.
I am not what you say I am.

I am what I think I am.

Me, me, me... That's all that matters.
I just gotta remember. That will at least give me peace of mind throughout this process.
I just find myself self-forgetting too often.

Or should I just get over myself?

I should just know.

Just know it all. It's already happened. You're just watching it unfold. (Again?)

civilied